ANS jokes
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?
What game does an emo hate the most?
Life!
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family portrait.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
Q: What's an emo's favorite game? A: Hangman
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
If you're an orphan, it must be pretty hard taking "your mom" jokes.
An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come back.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
What do you call a once that's an insect?
A creepy crawly.