And jokes
Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.
Iran: Prepare the FINAL SOLUTION.
Israel: And you'll be telling the whole world, "I-RAN AWAY!"
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
Memes
🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵
LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA
I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
My grandad and your hairline go way back.
How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?
QUEUE THE MUSIC
BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?
They're cool and chill.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.
What’s long and hard and full of semen?
A submarine.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"