And jokes

What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.

Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?

What's the difference between depression and a girl?

XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.

So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.

A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.

The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!

What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?

I don't know... I'm from China.

What is the difference between a tree and walking home from a wheelchair?

What is the difference between a human being and a tree?

A human can walk and a tree cannot walk.

What is the difference between a tree and a school?

A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.

What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.

NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.

What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!

So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?

One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!

I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.

Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

What’s red and cries?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.