And jokes

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?

Boomerangs come back.

Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?

A: They both want Anthony's neck.

On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."

What does Pikachu and an orphan have in common?

Pikachu, I choose you!