And jokes

What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!

Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?

"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"

So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.

What is brown and extremely sticky?

A stick.

One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱

So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.

A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."

A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"

Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?

In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂

Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?

A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.

You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:

Sans: "Sub bro."

Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"

Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."

Sans: "A skele-ton."

(Drum effect)

Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"

Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.

Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?

The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.

So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"

What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?

The book has papers.

What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?

Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!

I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...