And jokes
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
Have they tried switching him off and on again?
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
Memes
What is the difference between snow boots on Earth Day, today, after dinner, and walking home?
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
What is the difference between a tree and when I walk home at night?
What is big, fun, [and] loud?
A school bus 🚌
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
A man walked into a zoo and there was only one dog.
He came out and said, "It was a shitzu."
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”