And jokes

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?

At least gorillas don't abort their own.

What are the similarities between apples and emos?

They both hang from trees.

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

An interrupting cow.

And inter-moo!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!

Hi, I'm Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are hee/hee.

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?

About 15 stone.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.

What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1