Back

And jokes

Fetus

What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"

Fan

(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)

If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop onions.

Child

My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."

Memes

And memes

Plate

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

Pizza

Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

A: The pizza can support a family of four.

Robot

I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.

It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."

Parody

So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"

Memory

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

Vet

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

Face

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

Okay

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

Eye

What does the right eye say to the left eye?

Between you and me, something smells!

Orphan

An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"

Difference

What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.

Dog

Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?

Because his dog had a sore throat!