And jokes

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"

How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.

What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?

People choose Pokemon.

A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.

The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.

Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?

He made a hit and run!

My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?

Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme.

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

What's black and eats Kitty?

Serval cancer.

Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.