And jokes

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

Little Mickel was on a tree.

He fell down and hurt his knee.

He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.

I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?

My Friend: What’s that?

Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."

"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"

What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?

They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.

What has four legs and one arm? A Doderman in a playground.

What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?

I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.

Me and the boys are cool.

How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!

I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!

A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.

Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

What do cake and baseball have in common?

Both need batters.

This picture is for bras! Comment or not and go to each one and comment! And go!

I’m going to be busy having dinner soon. I have internet for Christmas 🎄 and I have some Christmas.