And jokes

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

What's the difference between a dead body and a Lamborghini?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

A goose with no beak, and you eat?

Goose beak salad, file! :)

It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple has a family tree.

What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?

One has a home to run to.

For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

Your forehead and your hairline must be great friends, because they go way back.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.

You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

Wanna hear a couple of short jokes and a long joke?

Joke,

Joke,

Jooooooooooooooke.