And jokes

I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

They said: "Because I lost my parents."

I said: "Let's find them."

They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?

The captain's log.

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both try to get there before the hair does.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.

A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.

What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?

Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.

What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.

I like you, you like me.

Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY

You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.

How dairy!

🚘 What is as old as the earth 🌎 and new every month? The moon.

Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!

Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.

Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!

Sans: Yea bro.

Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.

If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!