And jokes
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?
A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
Memes
Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
What is it called when 21 Savage and 6ix9ine fight: Alien vs. Predator?
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.