And jokes

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...

What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?

Santa stops at three hoes.

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."

Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”

Wife: “ok... what is it?”

Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”

What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?

They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?

A. Bisexual.

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?

A dictator.

Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.