And jokes

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?

Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.

What's the difference between a cactus and a school bus?

On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.

What's the difference between you and a bench?

A bench can hold a family.

You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!

Paul Walker died Fast and Furious.

What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?

They're both white and flavorless.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?

Nothing, they both ran off.

My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side.

I crashed the car and fucked my trainer.

What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we watch through.

Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking's after a house fire.

It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.

And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.

What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?

I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.

Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.