And jokes

Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?

Because they can’t find their parents.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.

Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?

What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?

Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."

She said, "Who's there?"

I said, "I Eat eat my mop."

She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."

Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?

Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I like my women like I like my diving pools.

Wet and deep.

A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.

I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.

"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"

"Shut up and leave the bedroom."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?

Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?

Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?