And jokes

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One's actually picked.

What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.

What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.

What is the difference between Putin and an onion?

Nobody cries because of a cut Putin.

Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?

Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?

One's a busy ditch.

Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.

Why do special ed classes have fans?

To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.

What is black, white, and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

I have a fish that can break dance. Only for about 20 seconds, and only once.

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!

Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!