And jokes

Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?

Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I like my women like I like my diving pools.

Wet and deep.

A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.

I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.

"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"

"Shut up and leave the bedroom."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?

Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?

Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.