And jokes

Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.

What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?

They’re both in my bed.

A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.

Who wins?

Society.

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...

What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?

Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.

How do you piss off a midget?

Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.

What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?

Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."

A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.

His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”

Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”

What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?

Helen Killer.

What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we look through.

My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"

Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?

A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.

Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"

Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.

She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.

When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.