And jokes

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.

How are you and an orphan similar?

Both of your fathers are invisible.

Yo mama is so fat, she jumped into the air and got stuck!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.

A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.

It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.

If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.

What is the difference between hungry and horny?

The cucumber goes to different places.

What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?

The ant knows where home is.

You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!

What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?

They're both white and flavorless.

Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”

Wife: “ok... what is it?”

Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

What's black and white and red all over? An American School.

Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?

A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)