And jokes

What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?

The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!

What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?

They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.

What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?

They both get a lot of crack.

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

What's the difference between women and men?

Men have rights.

What do sex and food have in common?

Grandma makes both better.

What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?

Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."

Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...

...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

what do baby’s and grenades have in common?

They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?

Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.