And jokes

What do a girl and a bar have in common?

A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.

1-2-..... and he left without a trace.

What do tampons and your sister have in common?

Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.

Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.

Things we all do:

Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣

I do this too often!

I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!

Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.

A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.

What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.

What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.

The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display: Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.

What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?

I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.

Rape isn't a joke.

It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.

It's a way of art, and works on anybody!

Like this if you agree.

An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."

Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.

The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Like and comment if you play Fortnite!

What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."