And jokes

Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.

Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!

Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!

What is black, white, and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?

What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?

One's a busy ditch.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."

She said, "Who's there?"

I said, "I Eat eat my mop."

She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?

The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.

What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?

They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”