And jokes

A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?

Eight dead people.

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?

Hiroshima, Japan 1946.

A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.

Who wins?

Society.

What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?

They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?

They all shoot people for a living.

What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?

"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."

What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?

Netflix and pill.

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?

None of them are straight.

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...

... the first two being politics and religion.

Two Indians are walking beside a river...

One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.

"The White Man was here."

"How can you tell?"

"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...

...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.

Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.

If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.