And jokes

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?

None. Neither can see their parents.

What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?

The Oreo Gang!

I had a horse named Mayo, and sometimes Mayonnaise.

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"

What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?

One was planned.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."

I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."

What do sex and food have in common?

Grandma makes both better.

A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.

How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?

Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.

My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."

She died in a fire.

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?