And jokes

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.

Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.

Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Stop and apply lubrication.

Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.

One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

Mom: "No you can't..."

Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"

lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.

Old man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.

How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.

What's the difference between my phone and my sister?

I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".

What’s the difference between jail and my basement?

Some people are let out of jail.

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.

Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.

How do you know when a football player has been to jail?

When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.