And jokes

Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."

I had the worst day of my life. My 13 year old ex got killed and I got fired from my job as a police guard. Did I mention that we were in Syria?

Your mom walked into another bar and broke all the furniture. Again.

Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.

The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."

Oliver Savage and Jack Savage who goes to TTC in Frinton in England.

What has two tires and no engine? A magic house 🏡

I’m autistic, and I don’t approve of you guys making fun of the 75,000,000 other people.

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."

What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!

And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!

Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

Tyler: Pineapple

Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

Frankie: Right now.

Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

Tyler: I thought you never asked.

A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!

A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"

What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?

A miscarriage.

A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.

Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?

Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.

Me: Oh, okay.

Goes to school.

Teacher: How were humans made?

Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.

Teacher: 😑

Who rates these jokes as "Newest" and "Hot"?

Answer: a S-T-O-O-G-E.

You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.

Yo mama so ugly, she went to a fat concert and they said no experts allowed! 😂

I love Fortnite because I touched grass for the first time and also I love Chung Lei.

Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.