And jokes

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Coming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry? - Adam?

- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.

That one never gets old, just like the baby.

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

"Dez nuts, bell suck and she ugly."

What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?

While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.

Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!

Orphans are human, too! They just don't know who their parents are or where! I know four sisters named Mariah, Kariah, Lariah, and Iariah and they said they are orphans, too! And they are sad and they don't like your jokes!

Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!

Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!

Good luck, Jake.

What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?

The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.

I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!

A Mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car, and the passenger asked, "Where are we going?"

The Mexican says, "I'm not driving, the drunk guy is."

I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.

This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."

Time for double joke Tuesday.

What is a bird's favorite letter?

A C gull.

So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.

Kid: You're a dick, you know!

Me: And you're a pussy, you know?

Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?

Mother: Sure.

Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!

Your face and your life.

So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"

She said, "*sniff* yes."

I like my coffee like my men, long and black.

What’s green, fuzzy, and falls out of a tree? A pool table.

What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

What happened to the glue?

I knew you would get stuck on that!