And jokes

What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?

Diana can't stop either.

When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"

Ben 10 and a disabled person are the same, but no aliens for the disabled person.

Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?

Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.

Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"

Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.

POV: An Asian kidnapper kidnapped an Asian kid, and the kidnapper called the kid's mom. Then the mom said, "No, it's fine, my kid got a B, he failed." And the kidnapper let him go saying he doesn't need a failure.

Why is 10 scared of 11 and 9? Because he's in the middle of 9/11.

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.

Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?

Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.

Me: Oh, okay.

Goes to school.

Teacher: How were humans made?

Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.

Teacher: 😑

You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.

Who rates these jokes as "Newest" and "Hot"?

Answer: a S-T-O-O-G-E.

Yo mama so ugly, she went to a fat concert and they said no experts allowed! 😂

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."

What's the difference between me and you?

Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

Cotton gets picked.