And jokes
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
Memes
You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.
And together, we are pho-ever.
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!
What is the difference between a human and a human being in a wheelchair?
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home? Was your dinner night and dinner night?
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
What has no legs and a human body?
A human with no legs.