And jokes

What do women and peanut butter have in common?

They're both easy to spread.

I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.

What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?

Dead chicken and dead cow.

What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?

I don’t microwave forks.

I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.

Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.

Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!

What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.

How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.

I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.

Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?

Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.

Dad: She had to take the deep penis.

Son: Umm...... WHAT!?

Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS.

Dad: Oh, for God's sakes.

Dad: Epi Pen.

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.

Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"

I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.

I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????

Nope. I'm moving to Japan.

KONNICHIWA

Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.

The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)

I like my girls like my file systems...

FAT and 16.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?

Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.