And jokes

A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house......

And came back out with a job application, then that ran away *CAUSE SHE'S A UGLY FUCK*

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What does a wife and a boombox have in common?

They only work when you beat them.

My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.

Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.

The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.

There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.

They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.

Best part about being an orphan?

Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"

What do screen doors and blondes have in common?

The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.

Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!

Teacher: NANI!?!?

Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?