And jokes

What do you do when you made a misteak?

You do some yoga 🧘‍♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."

I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."

Evan, me and your mom are done with you.

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.

I was on a plane and my mom said, "It's just a little turbulence."

And I said, "Mom, we just got on the runway!"

Me: Knock, knock.

Teacher: Who is there?

Me: Boo.

Teacher: Boo who?

Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!

Teacher: ......

Me: Aw man, detention again.

I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.

What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?

KIT-KAT :p

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 80 people.

Then it exploded.

What happens if you mix the two names "Shannon" and "Stephanie"? You have the name "Shanny."

Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.

I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.

I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"