Ancient History jokes
Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
This. Is. Sparta
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Your hairline goes back so far, it dated Zeus.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Community talk
wanna help me dissect the illiad?
GENESIS 45 Joseph Makes Himself Known 1Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. 2And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh’s household heard about it. 3Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers… Read more
GENESIS 42 Joseph’s Brothers Go to Egypt 1When Jacob learned that there was grain for sale in Egypt, he said to his sons, “Why do you look at one another?” 2And he said, “Behold, I have heard that there is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that we may live and not die.” 3So ten of Joseph’s brothers went down to buy grain in Egypt. 4But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph’s brother, with his… Read more