I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution but, when I got there they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you Penaldo!
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask.....
Yet here i am, stuck at home in this covid19 Thriller, Beating it.....
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well according to my mom, I am.
Why am I so successful,?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option..
People ask me if my friend jumps of a bridge will I go as well. Of course not. I am a leader I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
I am whoopin my doges a$$ if u like u can free him
I am crying tears of joy rn.π I was wrongfully denied my visa .β οΈ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted. The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered Pristiano Penaldo π.I was right guys β π«
Yea man! Life is wonderful! But, when u realise all of the ones u loved we're fake. And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice. Is 13 age too young for dying? Am i just paranoid? I'm scared.
Son: Dad I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure ur my parents? Dad: oh...., well I never thought it would come to this, or to ur head that you were kidnapped..... Son: am I kidnapped? Dad; well ur adopted, and if you want to see ur biological parents theyβll be waiting for you in heaven
Hello, I am School Shooter Memes. For the last month I made School Shooter Jokes on the site, so now I want you guys to vote for the best one. It will be in a quarterfinal format with the 8 of them being the most liked. I will link all of the polls in the comments so make sure to vote for your favourite joke.
An old man goes to a church, and is making a confession: Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18 year old." Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?" Man: "I never have, I am Jewish." Father: "Then why are telling me all this?" Man: "Iβm telling everybody!"
Dad, am I adopted? NO! Why would I ever choose you?
Gambler
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?" The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am." "Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there." The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet." The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man." "I am. But the steaks are too high."
grandfathers last words :Stop shaking the ladder you cunt Grandmother last words : you know how to use that hammer Dads last words : Always aim before you shoot that gun Moms last words :Turn of the stove when you're done My last thought : am I a murder
I am a volcano
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and can't use my phone in class? cows go moo
