Amativeness jokes

I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.

Dad, am I adopted?

NO! Why would I ever choose you?

Doctor: You'll be at peace soon, sir.

Me: What? Am I dying?

Doctor: No, your wife is.

I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know why.

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.

I'd tell you a Kobe joke.

But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.

I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.

Why am I so successful?

When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"

People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?

9:11 AM

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.

Neil before me.

I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.

Because I am an orphan.

I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?

Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...

Son: Am I kidnapped?

Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.