All jokes

Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.

Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!

Person: WTF!

Those are all the same.

(All the jokes above.)

What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?

Baby in a blender.

Is it all right when there is nothing left?

Why is the Reaper not funny at all?

Well, he tells dead jokes!

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.

I’m gonna kick some gum and chew some ass... but I’m all out of ass.

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.

The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.

I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!

What's black and white and read all over?

A newspaper.

What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?

A penguin falling down the stairs.