People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
All Jokes
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.
But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
