In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
All Jokes
So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.
Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
Why are handicap signs blue?
Because they're all Crips.
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
Yo mama is so fat, she turned all the mermaids to fishes!
Sometimes I look at my butt for a really, really long time, and suddenly it all becomes clear to me.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
What is the funniest joke of all time?
Your face.
Yo mamma is so dumb, she will watch Disney Junior all night long.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
