All jokes

Mask

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

Friend

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

Fish

There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.

Why did they only come home with 3 fish?

(Answer)

There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.

If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?

Memes

Cow

Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.

Weight

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

Math

A letter to all Math:

Dear Math,

Grow up and solve your own problems!

2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!

Food

I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!

Migraine

Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.

Dog

Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?

A: A Chihuahua.

Bridge

Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?

Sanity to live: I don't know?

Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!

Sanity to live? *dies*

Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.

Sanity to live: *resurrected*

Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...

(sponsored by jumping bridges)

Diet

My diet:

Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...

Alcohol

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

Discrimination

My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].