My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
All Jokes
Wow, all these jokes are humerus!
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"
Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”
That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].
If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
What do you call 3 orphan girls in a tornado?
All of her twist.
Say "I hate happiness" without the H (all of them).
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
