What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
Why dont witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker
your hairline is so bad the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? RC-XD incoming.
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common? blowjob is anonymous
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. -- If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
How to tell your kid he's adopted: Son, I'm a virgin.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
you're forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."
What does a rock and a girl have in common? The flat ones get skipped
"Monica Lewinsky has went down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"
"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, dont'cha know?"
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up? You Tell them its a leap of faith
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie
Q: What's the best part about gardening? A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “what do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed. Most women can’t pull off sarcasm
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair
