Aed jokes
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Brass Mcknuckles.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.
Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.
But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
What is italian sausage?
The dick of a gay italian.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.