Aed jokes
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
What is a playground that is old?
A rotten playground.
Hairline is so far up, Patrick Mahomes can't even sell to a wide receiver.
Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?
Because they both split away from their family.
What's the difference between a Christian and a schizophrenic?
Nothing.
Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?
One can feed a family.
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
I was bulimic but I gave it up.
It just left a bad taste in my mouth.
Abortion is beautiful. I wish we could all be aborted.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
"Tj and Prince, I really think we should stop doing this date night, date fight thing on this website because it's driving everyone crazy, and this is a joke website, not a dating website, so I say let's just take this to Facebook."
My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."