Actuality jokes
So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke... I was the joke. 😭😭😭😔😔😔😒😒😒
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!
(Btw I never actually did this irl yet)
So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why I made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.
I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!
Me: Am actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.
Why was the clown sad?
He broke his funny bone. PS: "funny bone" is not actually a bone.
In jail, why is the white guy scarier than the black guy? Because the white guy actually did something.
Yo people!
Little Johnny's actually dead!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.
Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
A man who thinks he's funny but is actually a transvestite/transformer.
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.