Why did the depressed kid cross the road....... To get hit by a car
I was doing a race and I started after everyone cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, because I can't go straight, if i'm gay...
Jack and jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town game him a frown and his arms were pricked
One day i was passing a blind man and i gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer next day i went for another walk and saw his grave
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
How is Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same they both hit the ground really hard.
I wasnt close to my dad when he died.
which was good, he died to a landmine.
Q- How did Helen Keller get a concussion A-she kept on stepping on a rake
Today is sad my sister got hit by a car and I lost my license as a driver
1. If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting
10. Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya
12. Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented
What a day yesterday was I got a promotion and my sisters killer was hit by a bus now I’m in a cast!
Why did the planes crash into the twin towers ?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on
I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike. Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would out and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle. It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.
Why did Johnny drop his pencil? To look up girls skirts😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊
-Attention To Everyone-I'm not going to be on for 2 weeks because i was in a bike accident or more like a motorcycle I was ran off the road when my 16 year old brother was taking me for a ride. Now I can't use my legs cause well you know. I will be taking a break because I don't want to move my legs that much.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings...he is being very brave about it though...he is totally unflappable
there was a kid at school he was reading a book and he came across a phrase it was purple pation he went to his teacher and asked what it ment his teacher said hat the actual hell get the hell out of my class and go to the princible offic the princible said its ok iwas probably a mistake i will clean this all up in the mean time whats the phrase he says purple pation his prncible stares at him for about 3 seconds then says get the hell out of my school u r expelled he ran 7 miles to his dads offic crying all the way he went to his dad and explained how hs teacher kicked him out of the class and the princable expelled him his dad said calm down i will clean this all up and he said thats what the princable said he said i will clean it up he said ok the phrase is purple pation hisdad said i hate u getout of myoffice i dont want to see u again he ran down crying to his house he explained what happened his mom said the same thing as everyone else so he explaines the phrase his moms kickes him out of the house and he ran down to the park crying a old lady said whats wrong he explained whats happening then she says wellwhats the phrase he says purplepation the old lady said see that house across the street thats my house come over in about 30 min and i will explain he says thank u it was the longest 30 min of his life he sprints across the street and gets hit by a bus sorry guys ;)
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude I just fell off a 50 foot ladder!" Friend: "Bro, you ok?!" Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
