Absence jokes
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
What is an orphan's least favorite song? We Are Family.
I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
Why do orphans have cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?
I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.