Absence jokes
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
Did you know that the "F" in orphan stands for family?
My dad left me, lol.
What are orphans' favorite sports team? The home team.
We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."
What is a selfie of an orphan called?
A family photo.
You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he/she doesn't know where to run home.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
Why can’t orphans f*ck their mom?
Because they don’t have one.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.