Absence jokes
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
What's an orphan's selfie called?
A family portrait.
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.
We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.
An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
Why is an orphan like a boomerang? Because they always come back.
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A self-portrait.
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."