Absence jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
Why is an orphan like a boomerang? Because they always come back.
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A self-portrait.
Why can't male orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
Your dad is gone.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t find home.