Absence jokes
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
Why can't orphans play games?
Parents signed.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Why can't I talk in the dark?
Because I'm anonymous.
How do orphan jokes start?
Checking your shoulder.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
They have no mother's or father's day.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________
Why are orphans gay?
They call everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Their dad never came with it.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.