Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
Edward Robinson + Grant Wisler = WHAT THE FU**?
Yo mama so fat that she was the float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade with Kermit the Frog
Long time since I made a joke huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one
“The difference between Asians and Caucasians is the cau-
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock.
He finally got up there, but a bird stole his co-.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
What happens when a Tandemaus evolves?
Friend: What's that white stuff coming out of the Pokémon Box?
Dying mall be like...
"Toys" were us.
Goodbye, kitty.
Dying Canes.
Time to play guitar!
*absolutely shreds*
Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?
Me: The medication is the drugs.
Joke time!
Now, Heaven or Hell?
Heaven: we got clouds.
Hell: we got a frickin' private yacht!
Me: September is here!
[Labor Day comes]
Also me (ft. Green Day): “Wake me up when September ends!”
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
My friend: “Vaporeon is my favorite Pokémon.”
Me: “Hey, did you kno-“
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
Your mama is so skinny that when she went to go outside, the slightest breeze flew her all the way to New Mexico.
Me when I find my sisters diary: oooooo