My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
