What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
GG Miller
This is the Polo Gang..
Just posting corny dad jokes.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone, and the speedbump starts screaming?
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
. What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
My father always used to say:
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Until the accident.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they.
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:
F*ck off! You won’t bring it back.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims – they went 89 stories in ten seconds.
Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.
Dont challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushion
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling
What time would it be if Godzilla came to school? Time to run!