Worst Jokes Ever
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
I'm doin' your mom. Yes, yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers. Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen but her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans. I approached her in the checkout line, and said, "Yo baby wassup?" She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs. Five minutes later she agreed to get with me so we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart. I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn't start. She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again. How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it. She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it. Cause she knows how I like it, and that I'm a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they come back.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.
Xzavier sucked off little Johnny.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Why do G-Unit and C-Unit stand for? Gorilla unit and chimpanzee unit.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"
Shooter: "Oops."
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.