Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

What movie do orphans hate? The Fast and the Furious.

Do you know how many women have been pope?

Nun.

I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.

What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?

Motherfuckers.

Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."

Orphan: "Who's there?"

Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

Cow jokes are udder-culous (ridiculous)!

What is a gay school boy's favorite grade?

D+.

I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

What do you call a racist community? America.

Define abnormal life.

Waking up every day living a sane life!

Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.

How did the burglar get into my house?

Intruder window.

Why do people want to jump off buildings?

Because they want to become Superman.

What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

Travis Spick-le.

What's a dumbfuck's favorite condiment to put on his burger?

Re-tarter sauce.

Why did the dog cross the road?

To get to his owner.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.